Sure needed Golden Burt’s story to brighten this sad day

Golden Retriever Burton "Burt"

I just received a funny, quite doggy tale from Scotty Richardson. Scotty actually submitted a prize-winning entry, Goldens ─ Behind Bars, in our very first contest here at the Land of PureGold.  Scotty currently [9/2009] has four Golden Retrievers, and they have all worked up a storm, doing some mighty fine therapy dog work. You must check out his canine comedian tale, “Burton, Killer Watchdog!

Burton is a rescue, or a placement depending on whom is asked. He came to us at 18 months with—issues. With our other “used dogs” we’ve always been able to get them over their quirks. But not Burt. We love him dearly, but Burton was sent to us from on high as a trial. Burton is nearly 9 now, and there is no sign of mellowing.

Burton picked up a habit from our dearly departed “Fecal Gourmet”; Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue got gourmet status from only eating her own turf tacos. Never the other dogs. Perhaps she was afraid of germs? Burton is not nearly as discriminating but twice as sneaky. Mostly he cleans up after Porkchop. This is partly because Porkchop does the “old dog defecation” meaning she has to walk as she poops, leaving a 30 foot trail of little turdlets difficult to find in the grass. A couple of times I’ve watched Burt, hoping to scare him s***less, literally.

Keep reading the tale of Burton here.

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I just received a funny, quite doggy tale from Scotty Richardson. Scotty actually submitted a prize-winning entry, Goldens ─ Behind Bars, in our very first contest here at the Land of PureGold.  Scotty currently [9/2009] has four Goldens, and they have all worked up a storm, doing some fine therapy dog work. You must check out his canine comedian tale, “Burton, Killer Watchdog!”

Burton is a rescue, or a placement depending on whom is asked. He came to us at 18 months with—issues. With our other “used dogs” we’ve always been able to get them over their quirks. But not Burt. We love him dearly, but Burton was sent to us from on high as a trial. Burton is nearly 9 now, and there is no sign of mellowing.

Burton picked up a habit from our dearly departed “Fecal Gourmet”; Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue got gourmet status from only eating her own turf tacos. Never the other dogs. Perhaps she was afraid of germs? Burton is not nearly as discriminating but twice as sneaky. Mostly he cleans up after Porkchop. This is partly because Porkchop does the “old dog defecation” meaning she has to walk as she poops, leaving a 30 foot trail of little turdlets difficult to find in the grass. A couple of times I’ve watched Burt, hoping to scare him s***less, literally.

Tired Dog

(Thanks go to Texas Barb for this cute tale.)

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An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “He lives in a home with ten children he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

Golden Retriever Mr. Woofy Intimidated by Screen Kitty

This video clip is a scream. I just love love love it when a dog turned his or her head at an unexpected event, sound, etc. This is what the mom of Mr. Woofy says about the clip:

I was watching browsing YouTube on my macbook while lying on my bed with my sleeping dog, when I loaded this clip he bolted upright and started looking for the “angry kitty”. He’s an odd dog, he gets REALLY excited when he sees or hears a cat, but as soon as they come towards him he runs behind my legs while still barking and happily wagging his tail.

Mom is a 20-something Korean female from Melbourne, Australia, the apple of her eye being a 6-year-old Golden named Mr. Woofy.

In the following clip, Mr. Woofy is still on the prowl for the angry kitty, but alas, he still cannot find it!

Golden Retriever Duncan Smartest Dude at Diving Dog Challenge

I just loved this little blurb about Duncan. Is this one cool guy or what?

But the smartest dog at the Diving Dog Challenge was without a doubt Duncan, Drew Greer’s golden retriever, of Summit County. Instead of jumping in at the furthest point away from his ball, like all the other dogs did, Duncan ran around the pool’s edge, calculated the shortest distance from him to his toy, and then dove in.

“He dried off from the practice round and didn’t want to get wet again,” Greer said.

Smart dog.

Golden Retriever Brinkley — Didn’t win Governorship but made it to Letterman’s Top 10

I did a story on Brinkley last year, but did not know this Golden boy had spurred Dave Letterman to do the tale honor with his infamous Top 10 mockery.

Dog Running For Governor In Alaska
NBC10.com

One Alaskan gubernatorial candidate is an extreme long shot to win. But he’ll keep barking up every tree to turn out the vote. Brinkley is a two year-old golden retriever who is the center of a write-in campaign for Alaska’s highest office.

Click here to see a video of Brinkley in action.

______________________________________________________________

Well, here is the Top Ten from July 13, 2006:

“Top Ten Good Things About Having a Dog as a Governor”

10  Can easily diffuse a tense situation by rolling over and playing dead.
9  Want a bill passed? Scratch his head.
8  Only sexual scandal is with the leg of a couch.
7  You get novelty deck of cards featuring state’s most wanted fleas and ticks.
6  First Governor to wear a choke collar since McGreevey.
All state offices closed during Westminster dog show.
4  When he sticks his head out of the motorcade window, gives the impression
he’s a dog of the people.
3  Would chase more tail than Clinton . . . Hello, is this thing on?
2  Fun to watch him sniff visiting dignitaries.
1  Easier to understand than Schwarzenegger.

Cut the Cheese, oh my, poor Golden Retriever Sammy

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Cut the Cheese and Blame the Other Guy – The Stench of Washington Politics
By Phil Harris, Townhall.com

Pompous political windbags have a distinct odor, speaking of which, reminds me of a story that you have likely heard from Uncle Dan or Grandpa Gus. There are families that avoid bathroom humor at all costs; however, if you sprouted from one of those, it is unlikely that you are reading a column that has “cut the cheese” in its title. If you have never heard, “cut the cheese” used to describe something that does not compliment the bouquet of a fine wine; then brace yourself. You are about to be utterly violated.

A minister was on his way home from the church picnic. He had gorged himself on Martha Bergstrom’s pork-n-bean casserole. For some reason, he could not get enough of it, and old Martha Bergstrom could not have been more delighted.

While turning the corner at Laramie Avenue, his car began to sputter, and he realized instantly that he had forgotten to stop at the filling station. He pulled over in front of a little white house. Spring flowers were growing everywhere, and a perfectly manicured lawn set the entire scene ablaze with color.

He rang the doorbell, and asked the woman who answered if he could use her telephone. She recognized the minister and graciously invited him in. He called his son, and arranged for him to bring a can of gas. The woman invited him to sit in the living room while he waited.

As he took a seat, she reappeared, rolling an old man in a wheelchair. She parked him across the room and excused herself as the old man fixed a suspicious gaze on the intruder. A beautiful golden retriever trotted into the room, sniffed him a bit, and then sat down next to the minister’s chair.

He was about to compliment the old man on his wonderful landscape, when suddenly he felt an urgent rumbling. Obviously, Martha Bergstrom’s pork-n-been casserole was at work, and it came on with such a ferocity that a bit of gas slipped out before he could gain control.

There was no sound, but a foul odor was soon evident. The old man in the wheelchair looked at the dog and sternly said, “Sammy.”

There’s more with a GReat punchline . . . . 

Golden Retriever Golfing Jessie

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Golden Jessie giving Dad, Dr. Most, some golfing pointers!

Golden pals, Sheila and Bob Johnson shared this little tidbit.

In Chicago we have a popular radio station WGN 720, which some may have heard of or even listened to as it’s signal reaches 37 states at night. They have regular special guests from time to time one of which is Dr. Kevin Most on health topics. Dr. Most is the Senior Medical Director at Central DuPage Hospital Convenient Care Centers.

He was highlighted in this months news and among questions he was asked was what do you do in your free time? His answer was as follows: “In my spare time: Golf and reading. My girlfriend, Patti, and I take Jessie, our Golden Retriever, to the golf course for long walks. Jessie thinks she owns the place. I have taught her to retrieve my golf shots!”

A Golden Retriever Wonder

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JSOnline

If a 42-year-old Burlington man is to be believed, his dog should be on Letterman.

The Caledonia Police Department gave the man 10 days to license his dog along with a warning for having a dog at large after his golden retriever was found with a collar but no tags in the 30400 block of Douglas Ave.

The man showed the officer his dog had tags but said the dog didn’t like to wear them. “He takes them off all the time,” the man said.

Darn, I missed it! — Update

I just learned that Darwin is one funny dude. Here is a recent tale from his mom Donna:

Husbands learn only from empirical evidence

Me yesterday:

“I would suggest not leaving stuff you care about on the table in the kitchen…. Darwin’s been table surfing.”

Husband this morning:

“Well, you were right about not leaving stuff on the table.”

Me:

“Oh? What happened?”

Husband:

“Sometime between 6:15 and 7:15, Darwin ate my wallet…”

Me:

“I warned you.”

On February 12, 2007 it was Darwin Day, actually the 198th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s birth. But, look who reminded me, of course!

Handsome Pupper Darwin

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Golden Molly Esmerelda – Oh my!

FRIDAYS ON THE FRONT PORCH: Molly Esmerelda gets the remote
By Jane Gallagher

Molly Esmerelda Rice is a gorgeous redheaded golden retriever. She lives with our school nurse Carla and her husband Phil. Phil loves Molly Esmerelda so much that he keeps doggie treats in his truck and gives her one every time he comes in the door. She watches anxiously for him (and his treat) each day when it is time for him to come home, hysterically jumping in circles in the air until he gets out of his truck. She is her daddy’s girl!

Phil has something else at his house that he loves almost as much as Molly Esmerelda, and that is his television remote. He never lets it out of his hand when he is watching television. The previous channel button is worn to nubbins, and he holds it in his hand just right so that he only has to move his finger a little bit to change the channels. He keeps control of it, and if he is dozing, he can sense when someone is trying to remove it from his hand. (I feel your pain, Carla.)

Last week, Phil ran out of doggie treats and didn’t have one for Molly Esmerelda when he got home. She still wagged and was glad to see him. The next day he forgot to pick up the treats again. She was still friendly. However, after several days of Phil’s forgetfulness, Molly became a little sullen.

One day when Phil came home, Molly was not there to greet him. She was in hiding and Phil soon found out why. There on the floor was his beloved remote, chewed into tiny pieces on the floor. This was totally uncharacteristic of sweet-natured Molly. Phil’s lack of memory cost him seventy-three dollars and his pride when he had to tell Bruce at Vast Electronics the whole embarrassing story. Lesson learned: A woman’s patience does have its limits! The next night, Phil remembered the doggie treats and all was well again.

Golden Casey Owns the House

Motorin’ mutts and cruisin’ cats
By Morgan C. Moeller

GARDEN GROVE — Casey Pool has visited 48 of the 50 states. The 10-year-old golden retriever has spent the past 10 years crisscrossing the country, covering more than 200,000 miles of road.

In the RV world, she and her parents, Connie and Corbett Pool, are known as “full-timers.” The three spend 365 days a year on the open road, never stopping for more than two weeks at a time. The motor coach is the Pools’ home, and more often than not, Casey can be found riding shotgun in the passenger’s seat.

An “I love my golden retriever” sign hangs in the window by the RV’s front door. A white, golden retriever license plate customized with Connie, Corbett and Casey’s names is displayed on the dashboard.

“We consider this to be her dog house,” Connie said. “She owns it.”

As senior vice president of the national FMCA organization, Connie travels to motor coach rallies all over the country. This weekend, the Pools, and their faithful co-pilot, are among the 5,000 people — not counting pets — attending the Family Motor Coach Association’s (FMCA) ninth annual Southeast area rally.

There’s more . . . .

Goldens and Body Language: My Doggie Says Book

We just discovered a new book about Goldens and body language, written by Fred Haney. It looks to be a wonderful addition, even though this story is tinged with the bittersweet as the depicted Golden in the book died from lymphoma shortly after its publication.

Fred Haney considers himself lucky to have had a pet as sensitive and expressive as Jamie. He’s also fortunate that his work as a high-tech angel investor allows him to spend time in his home office, so that he can observe Jamie, and his other pets, in all kinds of daily situations.

Fred became aware of Jamie’s dog talk when she was about five years old. Realizing that Jamie was expressing herself frequently with her dog body language, he tried to become a better “listener,” which, of course, made Jamie better at dog talk. In his daily life, Fred spends a lot of time nurturing entrepreneurs. He never dreamed he’d be cultivating his Golden Retriever’s communication skills.

Analytic by nature (his Ph.D. is in Computer Sciences, from Carnegie-Mellon University), Fred began to see patterns in Jamie’s messages. In 2001, he started to capture Jamie’s dog body language in a collection of golden retriever pictures. By 2004, he had assembled hundreds of images, and, he began writing brief stories about them. The result is My Doggie Says…

You can see a few sample pages by clicking here, and at Amazon, you can EXPLORE MANY PAGES OF THE BOOK . Just click on the book in the left hand corner of the page that says, SEARCH INSIDE!

Here is a wonderful article that appeared about the book:

Is your dog talking to you?
Probably, says the author of a new book, but you have to know how to listen.
By Melissa Heckscher, Daily Breeze Staff Writer

A golden retriever whose strawberry blond face had grown powdery white by the time she was 12, Jamie (short for “Donnor’s Jameson del Campo”) had a fancy for tug of war, liked to chew on champagne corks and loved — really, really loved — her rainbow-colored stuffed basketball.

How could her owner, Fred Haney of Palos Verdes Estates, know all this? She told him. Well, she told him as clearly as a dog can tell anyone anything about tug of war … corks … or a basketball.

“I’m not saying that I think Jamie is unique among dogs,” said Haney, who recently self-published My Doggie Says … Messages From Jamie, a book chronicling various “messages” from the beloved brown-eyed dog who died just before Christmas, shortly after the book was released in local stores. “On the other hand,” he added, looking over toward his sofa where a framed photo of Jamie sits propped up by a pillow, “she may have had a little more of an inclination to communicate, and it may be partly because we reinforced it.”

In the 90-page full-color book, Haney presents a photo-illustrated guide to Jamie’s every move, bark and whimper. Readers shouldn’t be surprised to see that her missives are the “I’d like to go outside now” and “I want my squeaky toy” sort of statements that don’t require canine-mind reading to understand.

It’s not altogether groundbreaking; but then, Haney didn’t mean for it to be. He only wanted people to learn how to pay attention to their pets. “I think there’s more going on here than people understand,” he said. “You’ve read scientific articles about, ‘Are animals smart? Can animals think?’ And they always conclude, ‘Well, they can’t do a Rubik’s cube, so they must be stupid.’ But I just have a feeling that animals aren’t that far behind us, and maybe they’re a little brighter and have more emotional dimension and intelligence than we give them credit for.”

Haney started transcribing Jamie’s messages about five years ago when he awoke to her standing — her face inches from his — beside the bed he shares with his wife, Barbara. “She made a ‘wuuf’ sound and pawed at the bed,” Haney wrote in the book. “My dog was talking to me!”

Haney supposed that in some canine-to-human dialect, Jamie was trying to say: “Lift me up onto the bed, please.” “At that moment, I vowed to ‘tune in’ to the messages Jamie was sending,” he wrote. And he did. Camera in hand, Haney observed as Jamie played with other dogs, took naps with Okie-Dokie, the family cat, and eagerly tagged along on daily errands. He noticed when she moped over losing her favorite stuffed ball, when she shivered with fear at the sound of thunder, and how she appeared disgusted when Okie-Dokie dragged dead mice into the house.

After five years of watching and photographing Jamie, Haney put together the book. In it, he chose 87 photos and an assortment of Jamie-speak, including “If I lie across the hallway, maybe you’ll stay home”; “I know you’re getting ready to travel; I hope I get to go”; “I’m upset you were away so long, so I’m going to destroy my toy.”

And so on.

“It’s easy to start to think, ‘Well, this animal really has feelings and this animal has emotions and he’s really bonded and connected,’ but maybe all she was about was getting fed every day,” Haney said. “But it felt very similar to a relationship with a person. She was really a part of our family.”

Which made it all the more difficult when last fall, Jamie was diagnosed with lymphoma. She died Dec. 20 at age 12. “She had already gone to two book signings,” Barbara Haney said, her voice wavering with emotion. “And one of the last things our vet said to us was, ‘Well you’ve immortalized Jamie in the book. The timing was almost providential.'”

When Jamie died, the Haneys’ daughter-in-law, Karen, wrote a farewell letter on behalf of the dog. It was a letter “from Jamie,” and it said: “When I got here in doggie heaven, everybody already knows about me because they read the book.”

Jamie’s Rules for a Good Life
• Don’t bark if a “wuuf” will do the job.
• It’s OK to be afraid sometimes.
• Have a favorite toy.
• Share your favorite toy with others.
• Play by the rules even when there’s no referee.
• Get out of the house when you can.
• Chase lizards and squirrels when you can.
• Rest when you’re tired.
• Be gentle with children.
• Ask for the things you need.
• Drink lots of water when you go running.
• Go places where they treat you well.
• Make people feel good when you greet them.
• Be true to your nature.

Golden Dave: The Math Dog UPDATED!

Last week I had the following story about the Wednesday night David Letterman Show. He was doing Stupid Dog Tricks, which are really not stupid at all, but that is the tag he gives this features. He had on Golden Dave, a smart dude From Illinois.

Well, yesterday I received this unbelievable email from Golden lover Gerri:

My husband and I were stopping at Petsmart Friday evening. As we were parking, a man and a Golden were walking into the store. My husband said, “That looks like Dave”. I agreed, but thought that it could not be Dave because we live in Indiana and Dave lives in Illinois. We went into the store and the man and Golden were talking to the ladies at the cash registers. My husband said “Hi Dave”. The owner said, yes this is Dave. We had met a celebrity!

Dave had something in his eye and they had stopped there for some eye wash on the way home from the David Letterman show in New York. Dave showed us some tricks (he knows sign language also!) and I took a picture of him with my cell phone. After allot of petting, we left them to go on their way. What a Great Dog!

Here you can see Dave doing his thing at the Hawthorne Elementary School in Salem.

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Illinois dog to do ‘stupid pet trick’ on ‘Late Show’
By Laura Followell,The Tribune-Star

TERRE HAUTE — Dave the Math Dog is on his way to stardom after making the cut for the Stupid Pet Tricks tryouts staged last month in the Indiana Theater. On Wednesday, the dog will trot on to CBS’ “Late Show with David Letterman.”

The golden retriever was en route to New York today after his owner, Frank Ferris, was informed Monday the dog had been chosen to appear on the show in the Ed Sullivan Theater. Dave the Math Dog will perform his mathematical wonders as Ferris stands by to help the dog communicate his answer. “He’s already gotten a bath,” Ferris said, laughing. “He got his nails trimmed and his ears cleaned. So he’s all prettified.”

Dave the Math Dog and Ferris traveled to Terre Haute in October from Lerna, Ill., just southeast of Mattoon, and auditioned for a spot on the “Late Show.” The dog appeared onstage with his owner. A volunteer from the “Late Show” then wrote math problems on a dry-erase board, such as “12 ÷ 4,” and displayed them to the dog. The dog pawed at his owner’s hand three times, indicating the correct answer.

Ferris and his wife, Debra, opted out of free plane tickets to New York and chose to drive. “They won’t let Dave sit in the seat next to us [on an airplane], so we drive,” Ferris said. “We don’t put Dave in cargo hold — no way. So we’re driving.” The trio will arrive in New York today after a 15-hour drive. Dave the Math Dog and Frank will perform for the show’s 11 a.m. taping.

Read more……