I was confused, but now I’m not.

I received this in a viral email forward:

This took some figuring out . . . . .

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”

Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers — a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track — you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend five different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend three years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a constitutional law professor, spend eight years as a state senator representing a district with more than 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, four years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising two beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner-city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.

If your husband is nicknamed “First Dude,” with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

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Freebo – Golden news & a $700 free music/book deal! -UPDATED 3x

Some time back I found out about the talented musician and performer, Freebo, and his Golden Retriever Garbo. Of course, I fell in love with him when I found out he had dedicated the CD, DOG PEOPLE, to her.

I lost touch with Freebo for a couple of years, and when we caught up with each other he thought I knew that Garbo had left for The Bridge. I didn’t know, but I was happy to hear that she had been able to share her joy of living for almost 15 years.

He told me of his newest Golden girl, Harlow, and I just learned Harlow became a momma (I can’t wait to see the photos).

Harlow, our beautiful 2 year old Golden Retriever and direct descendant of Garbo, had a litter of 8 puppies on August 2nd. Their eyes are not yet open, but they are growing by the minute. Harlow has been an incredible mom, instinctually knew what to do, nurses the pups diligently, and still finds time and energy to play with her humans. My wife Laurie was there for the birth, helped Harlow with all details, and was thrilled with the whole process.

Freebo has been very busy and his latest CD is just wonderful. I have created a special page for him at the Foundation and it includes sound clips from all his CDs, including dog lovers’ favorites from his DOG PEOPLE CD. We just learned that WE ARE ALL ONE PEOPLE, a song from his Before the Separation CD, has been nominated for a 2008 Posi Award in the “Most Uniting” category (the award show is tonite!). The Posi Awards are all about music that has a positive message.

Freebo also told me about Teri Hawkins, who on Tuesday, Sept 16th, is releasing her new book, Life Retold. Everyone who buys the book THAT DAY from Amazon (just click on the link here) will receive 30 downloadable CDs, including Freebo’s “BEFORE THE SEPARATION” CD, as well as other free audio books.

Go check out the actual artists and writers featured in this incredible free package by clicking here.

In short, it’s $700 worth of free books and CDs for simply buying Teri’s book for $17. But, the book MUST BE ORDERED ON TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16TH.

When you place your order, Life Retold might display as “Temporarily out of stock”. Don’t worry, I’ve been assured that there will be NO DELAY in receiving your book. After you get your order confirmation, which will include your order number, you need to GO HERE and enter that number into a special form to claim your $700 bonus gift package. After you fill out the form, you’ll be taken to the bonus page to download your goodies. I CANNOT WAIT!

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UPDATE: I got the book and just finished downloading a gazillion songs. Whoa do I have some serious listening to do.

UPDATE 2: I just heard from Freebo and what GReat news he had for me. Check it out:

Looks like we’re going to keep one of the 2 girls whom we named “Hepburn”…..”Harlow” & “Hepburn”! Pretty cool, huh? It is an amazing litter, not a dud in the bunch…all excellent dogs.

Last night at the awards show, I won the award for BEST SONG IN THE UNITING CATEGORY. It was like The Grammys…..”And the winner is….FREEBO for “We Are All One People”. I was the most surprised person in the theater!

Time to go to bed….it’s 4:30 AM and I need to get up in a few hours.

UPDATE 3: What a small world. Teri Hawkins just contacted me, and I should not be surprised, but she is a Golden person. Of course, I told her I just had to see a photo of her Golden love and that I would want to share it with everyone here. It turns out her boy looks like my Ollie.

Here is Teri’s note that accompanied the photo below of her charming dude, Maxer:

Here is my Maxer. – He is a beauty in appearance but a silly pig pen in life…so I sent you a picture of his real self. He is talking to you can you hear him?